As a mother, I am always on the alert to protect and enhance the health of my children. Ovetr the decades, there has always been much controversy over vaccines.
Recently, actress and mother of an autistic child, Jenny McCarthy, advocates to “green” vaccines. Jenny is not saying to get rid of the shots, but to space out the delivery and to take the toxins out. Watch the video and learn more.
In my own quest to love my life and be a better parent, I found these tips on how to help my children improve their organization and focus at home and school. Even though they were found at an ADHD site, I think they can be applied to anyone’s life to help better cope with our hectic modern lives.
Create a schedule. Try to follow the same routine every day.
Put up a copy of the schedule to provide visual reinforcement. Post the schedule in a prominent place so your child can see where he or she is expected to be during the day and when it’s time for homework, play, and chores.
Try to keep tasks simple. Try not to have too many things on the schedule for your child to remember. This way he or she has a better chance of completing each task-which can provide a sense of accomplishment.
Help your child get organized. Work with your child to create a “home” for his or her backpack, toys, and clothing so these items will be less likely to get lost. Give your child a checklist that he or she can refer to before coming home from school, to help your child remember to bring home important papers and homework assignments.
Always try to use brief, clear directions. For example, when reminding your child to pick up his or her clothes, consider saying, “please pick up your clothes” instead of “it would be nice if you picked up your clothes.”
Limit distractions. It may help to have the TV, radio, and computer games off when your child is performing tasks that require concentration, especially homework.
Offer choices so your child feels involved in making decisions. However, it’s best to offer no more than two alternatives so that he or she isn’t overwhelmed or overstimulated.
Goals and rewards can be effective. You can use a chart to list goals and track positive behaviors, then reward your child’s efforts. Goals should be realistic (think baby steps, not overnight success) and rewards need not be expensive (e.g., an extra half hour of TV time, choosing the movie on family movie night). I use the Superstars chart. There are some useful downloadable worksheets.
Decisive, positive discipline usually works best. Using timeouts or removal of privileges can help, but try to tie the consequences to the inappropriate behavior (e.g., if your child doesn’t wear a helmet while bike riding, he or she doesn’t get to ride for the rest of the day).
Encourage your child’s natural talents. You know your child has unique skills. When others see those skills as you do, it may lead to greater success for your child. In addition, when your child is doing something he or she loves and is good at, it can build confidence and self-esteem.
The holiday season tends to bring up a myriad of emotions for people — a mixture of happy and sometimes sad memories surface. Many are trying to find ways to cope in the height of the dysfunctional family season. I found that baking, yoga, hot baths, this fun game, and a good bottle of wine can help! (you just can’t do them all at the same time)
As I ease into the season, I tend to bake breads and desserts a lot more. My excessive baking could have something to do with the fact that when December in Arizona rolls around it is finally not hotter than an oven. And I begin making up for all the baking I couldn’t do in the summer.
I notice the ritual of kneading dough and tenderly shaping cookies brings a calm and peace over me. Baking or making anything from scratch forces me to slow down and reconnect with all my senses. It is tradition in my family to have fresh homemade cinnamon rolls ready for Santa and Christmas morning breakfast.
In case you need a new stress reliever or you love a good homemade cinnamon roll, here is my old family recipe:
Cinnamon Rolls
Mix together: 6 cups of flour 1/2 cup sugar 1 teaspoon of salt 1 stick of butter
In a separate bowl, dissolve 1 package of yeast in 2 1/2 cups of warm water. Add yeast mixture to flour mixture. Work it together and knead into a ball. Grease a large mixing bowl with butter and place dough inside, cover and leave in a warm place to rise until double in size.
Divide dough into 2 balls. Roll one ball to 1/4 inch thick. Spread with one stick of butter. Sprinkle sugar and cinnamon generously all over dough. Roll tightly into a log. Cut into 2 inch sections. Place cut rolls into greased baking pans (I use stoneware). Do the same with the other ball of dough. Let rolls rise until double.
Bake at 375 degress for 20 minutes. Place a foil tent over rolls at the end of baking time if they are getting too brown. Let cool 5 – 10 minutes before removing from pan.
One of my favorite childhood movies is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. When one of my daughters becomes demanding and whiny about wanting something, it reminds me of the scene in the movie when Veruca Salt screams, “I want an Oompa Loompa NOW, Daddy!”
I often feel that same sense of urgency when I want something very badly. Who can blame my daughters or me?! After all, living in this age of information and technology that provides us with “Instant Everything” has conditioned people to expect to get what we want, when we want it.
However, the evolution of self cannot be rushed or demanded into existence. Successful personal transformation takes time just like aging a fine wine.
Learning to have patience with yourself and the change process is the key to success and maintaining your sanity. Patience is easier when you are confident you are taking the necessary steps and risks.
Here are some keys to help:
Create a vision for what you want.
Set goals that will get you there.
Break down your goals into small manageable steps so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Lasting transformation takes time and patience.
Take time to build a solid foundation of skills and knowledge. This will help you overcome fears and avoid unnecessary failure.
Make a list of the worst and best that could happen if you take a certain action.
Then stick your neck out and go for it!
When I feel that whiny impatience surging up inside of me, I remember how unbearable greedy, little Veruca Salt was when she always got when she wanted, when she wanted. It helps me chill out and let nature runs it’s course with my life. I remind myself that I don’t always know what is best for me. I have learned that letting go of control and practicing patience always yields great rewards and happiness.
“Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.”
In my efforts to clean out the garage and to include my kids in the organizing overhaul, I gave them each jobs. I thought I was so clever in giving them tasks that would simultaneously help them enhance other skills they need to work on.
Here were their assignments:
My 9-year-old’s job was to throw trash into the dumpster (to help her refine her basketball skills).
My 7-year-old’s job was to label cardboard boxes with a Sharpie permanent marker (to help her practice handwriting and spelling).
All in all, the girls did good work. However, I did learn a couple DON’TS when involving kids in organizing.
DON’T give them Styrofoam packing peanuts to throw away. Instead, the peanuts will end up crushed everywhere in tiny bits and impossible to pick up without a vacuum.
DON’T give permanent markers to children without close supervision!
My 7-year-old got “label happy”. After she ran out of cardboard boxes, she proceeded to label unauthorized objects – like the wooden garage storage cabinets! I think she needs to work on her spelling still!See evidence below… Good thing I have a pretty good sense of humor. But I did warn her to please not label the kitchen cabinets.
One of my many passions is to help moms discover their passions. The journey begins by identifying your values. I was recently invited to share this process on Sonoran Living, a popular morning show in Phoenix, Arizona. Watch this video clip from the show to see one way I gather information from my clients.
Next week my kids go back to school (HURRAY! oh, did I say that out loud?) One of my biggest struggles is packing healthy lunches that my kids will actually eat.
In my quest for lunch ideas, I found these sites full of ideas that help families pack better lunches, be healthier, and save money.
I just found the Ultimate Backpack for my kids. And ironically that’s it’s name too! I got it at Target for $24.99. What I love about it:
It comes in 3 colors – ebony, navy and pink. (Great for boys or girls.)
You can buy the Ultimate Lunchbox to go with it in coordinating colors or mix and match. (My daughter wanted the black backpack with a pink lunchbox. She doesn’t match her clothes either!)
The lunch box attaches easily to the front with clips. So you don’t have to cram it inside or take it with you everyday.
Fully padded straps and padding for the back.
2 exterior water bottle holders, so leaky bottles don’t ruin books and papers.
A key ring holder attached to a stretchy cord. Keys never have to leave the backpack to be used = they won’t get lost!
A “Stranger Danger” whistle clipped to the front shoulder strap. (My daughter is especially excited about this. She even rehearsed her speech to the man in the van who tries to kidnap her. “Look Mister, I have a whistle and I’m not afraid to use it. So back away NOW!” Oh God, I almost peed my pants in Target when she whipped that line out.) Check out this Stranger Danger information to see if your kids are prepared and safe.
A Mp3 and cellphone pocket (although I won’t let my kids take these valuables to school).
A storage pocket perfect for Heely’s shoe parts. (The kids have to take the wheels out at school but want to put them back in for the walk home — it’s all downhill!
Ok. The bottom line on keeping some sanity when school starts is to create a schedule for the kids. Implement a schedule 2 weeks before schools starts to ease the transition and whining.
Here is my schedule for a school day:
5:30 am- Wake up, Workout (a run, weights at the gym or a free internet yoga class), Shower 7:00 am -Wake up kids, supervise kids getting dressed, making beds, brushing teeth and hair. 7:30 am -Supervise kids making their own breakfast, help where needed, eat breakfast as a family. 8:15 am -Drive or walk kids to school
8:30 am – 3:30 pm Work, run errands and clean and manage the household, prep dinner
3:30 – 6:00 pm- Pickup kids, serve a kid-friendly healthy snack, supervise homework (set up a homework station), drive kids to after school activities, cook dinner
6:00 – 8:00 pm Eat dinner as a family, clean up dinner and make lunches for next day, kids take showers, lay out clothes for the next day, read, say nightly prayers with kids
8:00 – 10:00 pm – Read, watch tv, catch-up on emails and work, and go to bed
That is my basic schedule I try to keep during the school year. The key is to be consistent and get the kids to help as much as possible. If you need more tips on organizing for the family, check out this organizing workshop that I will be teaching with Suzanne on September 6.
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